We live in a world that gives finding a partner and being married monogamously top priority, the happily ever after to our fairy tales. This narrative excludes a large number of people in different situations and leading fulfilling lives. A vital relationship for happiness is missing here and requires as much love and attention as romantic partnerships, friendship.
Imagine a world where friendship was idolized the same way marriage was. How would it look? This story of platonic love will give you a peek into that reality.
Kami West and Kate Tillotson are two friends/soul mates that have rebelled against our world’s marriage centered narrative. “Our boyfriends, our significant others, and our husbands are supposed to be No. 1,” West told The Atlantic. “Our worlds are backward.”
By placing friendship at the center of their lives, they mirror what romantic couples’ lives normally look like, without the physical aspect. They live in a house they purchased together, help raise each other’s children, share credit cards, and hold each other’s medical and legal power of attorney.
Their intimate friendship defies “normal” categories of relationships, summing up their connection as “having a life partner, and you just don’t want to kiss them.” Both of these women still pursue romantic partners, though they know that their best friend comes first. Tillotson described her romantic partner as “the cherry on the cake”, though she explained that she and West were “the cake.”
As with any, this type of relationship has its positives and negatives, though Tillotson believes all her relationships have been enriched from her arrangement with West. Their romantic connections appreciate that the emotional load is lessened thanks to the tight friendship. Also, their commitments to other friends and volunteering have been amplified through mutual effort.
They explain how most people just don’t get it, however, judging their lifestyle and how they raise their families. Intimate friendships like this have not always been sources of confusion and judgment. Between the 18th to early 20th centuries, devoted same-sex friendships were common in society, being termed “romantic friendships.”
This theme can be also seen throughout literary history, such as in Florence Converse’s novel Diana Victrix. Here, the character Enid rejects a proposal because a female friend already takes the space in her life that would be for him. Telling the man if they had married, “you would have to come first. And you could not, for she is first.”
A platonic partnership being the center of your life is not right for everyone, but neither is marriage. People may be happier overall if it was normalized to explore more unconventional types of relationships without preconceived expectations.
The post Our greatest love of all could be friendship first appeared on The Optimist Daily: Making Solutions the News.
We live in a world that gives finding a partner and being married monogamously top priority, the happily ever after to our fairy tales. This narrative excludes a large number of people in different situations and leading fulfilling lives. A vital relationship for happiness is missing here and requires as much love and attention as
The post Our greatest love of all could be friendship first appeared on The Optimist Daily: Making Solutions the News.